But for tonight - there is this.
I am at an exhausted place - but thankful all the same. My uncle is in the intensive care unit of a Wisconsin hospital right now, and I went up there with my family tonight to visit him. He was awake and joking and stable, all good things for today.
After the visit, we drove up the road to a restaurant suggested by the hospital receptionist. It was a small town Wisconsin kind of place - rough walled and wood paneled, tucked inside an old train depot and covered with posters for things like Lionel Trains and Dad's Root Beer.
We had fun with our animated waiter Josh, sampled food off of each other's plates, talked about heavy stuff, and laughed about the light stuff. I'm pretty sure I cried at one point....and then laughed so hard that the tears became different.
Afterwards, we strolled down Main Street and peered in the windows of antique shops, ice cream parlors and cafes. All of it felt a lifetime away from my early morning - I hadn't known when I stepped on my train into Chicago that my evening sunset would be spent here, in this place. Despite the unevenness, I feel whole, alive, and loved. I am lucky.
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